Jokes - Penny Stocks: Penny Stock Picks and Talk at The Penny Stock Blog Forums

BuyTex · 03-10-2006, 10:11 PM

Jel,

Two B's walking same way, opposite sides of street:

B1: Heyyyy! How do I get to other side?

B2: DOH!!!!!
You are on the other side!

Lil · 03-10-2006, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BuyTex

Jel,

Two B's walking same way, opposite sides of street:

B1: Heyyyy! How do I get to other side?

B2: DOH!!!!!
You are on the other side!

A blonde calls the fire dept. to report a fire at her house.

Guy says...."ok, how do we get there"

Blonde says......"duh.....BIG RED TRUCK"

Lil · 03-17-2006, 10:05 PM

keithsan · 03-22-2006, 10:56 PM

President Bush was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy."

"No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call a great loss."

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bush searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy (Lil' Johnny) raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One carrying you and Mrs. Bush was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."

Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?"

"Well," says Lil Johnny, "It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."

Caroline · 03-23-2006, 09:00 AM

What's the difference between buying a lottery ticket and buying a penny stock?
In the first case, you help finance the local community swimming pool
In the second case, you help finance the stock promoters' home pool.

Caroline · 03-23-2006, 09:03 AM

October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.
Mark Twain

SuperCoupe · 03-23-2006, 09:29 AM

What kind of meat do priests eat?

NUN!

LDD31 · 03-23-2006, 06:04 PM

What do sex and bridge have in common?????

If you don't have a good partner, you better have good hand!!!!!!

MrWolf · 03-23-2006, 06:50 PM

George Bush was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, "I sure would like to go to Disneyland." George said, "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One."

The second kid said, "I really need a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's." George said, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!"

The third kid said, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!" George Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you are injured." The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!"

Previous Joke | Next Joke

MrWolf · 03-23-2006, 06:55 PM

another one:

Before the inauguration, George W. was invited to a 'get acquainted' tour of the White House.

After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked President Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom. He was astonished to see that the President had a solid gold urinal!

That afternoon, George W. told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. "Just think," he said, "when I am President, I'll have my own personal gold urinal!"

Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been with his discovery of the fact that, in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.

That evening, Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed. Hillary turned to Bill and said, "Well, I found out who peed in your saxophone."

03-10-2006, 10:11 PM	#1
BuyTex Day Trader Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 73 Rep Power: 12	Jel, Two B's walking same way, opposite sides of street: B1: Heyyyy! How do I get to other side? B2: DOH!!!!! You are on the other side! __________________ Apparently, the goldang referree...

03-17-2006, 10:05 PM	#3
Lil King of Stocks Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: JERSEY! Jelly and I have the state covered! Posts: 409 Rep Power: 19	__________________ Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

03-23-2006, 09:00 AM	#5
Caroline King of Stocks Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 804 Rep Power: 27	What's the difference between buying a lottery ticket and buying a penny stock? In the first case, you help finance the local community swimming pool In the second case, you help finance the stock promoters' home pool. __________________ "If you can see the obstacles,then you have taken your eyes off of the goal"

03-23-2006, 09:03 AM	#6
Caroline King of Stocks Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 804 Rep Power: 27	October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February. Mark Twain __________________ "If you can see the obstacles,then you have taken your eyes off of the goal"

03-23-2006, 09:29 AM	#7
SuperCoupe Newbie Trader Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Warwick, RI Posts: 9 Rep Power: 11	What kind of meat do priests eat? NUN! __________________ Follow the leader!

03-22-2006, 10:56 PM	#4
keithsan Senior Member Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Scituate, MA Posts: 5,121 Rep Power: 113	President Bush was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy." "No," said Bush, "that would be an accident." A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call a great loss." The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bush searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally at the back of the room a small boy (Lil' Johnny) raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One carrying you and Mrs. Bush was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy." Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?" "Well," says Lil Johnny, "It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."

03-23-2006, 06:04 PM	#8
LDD31 Newbie Trader Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 4 Rep Power: 11	What do sex and bridge have in common????? If you don't have a good partner, you better have good hand!!!!!!

03-23-2006, 06:50 PM	#9
MrWolf Elite Trader Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: vienna/austria Posts: 108 Rep Power: 13	George Bush was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted. The first kid said, "I sure would like to go to Disneyland." George said, "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One." The second kid said, "I really need a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's." George said, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!" The third kid said, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!" George Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you are injured." The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!" Previous Joke \| Next Joke

03-23-2006, 06:55 PM	#10
MrWolf Elite Trader Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: vienna/austria Posts: 108 Rep Power: 13	another one: Before the inauguration, George W. was invited to a 'get acquainted' tour of the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked President Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom. He was astonished to see that the President had a solid gold urinal! That afternoon, George W. told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. "Just think," he said, "when I am President, I'll have my own personal gold urinal!" Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been with his discovery of the fact that, in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal. That evening, Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed. Hillary turned to Bill and said, "Well, I found out who peed in your saxophone."

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