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12-02-2009, 04:52 PM | #1 |
Trading Apprentice
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 45
Rep Power: 1
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Tiger Jokes
Apparently the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She
said “I don’t know exactly, but put me down for a 5.” -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What was Elin doing out at 2.30 in the morning? Clubbing -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant AND a tree? He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did Phil Mickelson call Elin yesterday? To pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is the penalty for getting it in the wrong hole? Ask Tiger, he knows. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tiger drives very well on the fairway but doesn’t fare very well on the driveway. Rock me. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whats the difference between a golf ball and a caddy? Tiger can drive a golf ball. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nike wants to drop their endorsement due to accuracy problems. Apparently, Tiger’s spraying his balls everywhere. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It turns out that fixing Tiger’s game and fixing his marriage both require the same thing: better control over his putz. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why was Tiger’s wife mad at him? She heard that he played a-round in Australia. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What will the headline be if they prove it is domestic violence? TIGER’S WIFE MAKES THE CUT -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family. Cheetah. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Elin Woods has a twin sister named Josephine. Know how to tell them apart? Elin is the one holding the bent 5 iron. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- First words spoken to the paramedics by Tiger: Who are you? And what are all these trees doing in my living room? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tiger Wood’s shirt is all red- problem is, there’s no tournament, and his veins are a pint low. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What does Tiger have in common with a baby seal? They’ve both been clubbed by a Norwegian. |
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